Kiss of Death

Looking over some things in my life and I recently noticed something very strange. If it only happened once, I probably never would have paid attention to it. But the second time around, it just seems a little off.
What I'm talking about is the fact that every time someone passes away, I loose someone in one way or another. Now this can happen in multiple ways. One, the person that passes away was the person that was close to me. Or two, the person closest to me had someone pass away and I was cast aside. And in one case, both of these statements was true.
This first occurred when my cousin, Rudi Jean Baptiste (may he rest in peace), passed away. Me and him were closer than most people knew. He inspired me in many ways, always had good advice for me when I needed it. I still remember to this day the very fist time we met. I think about him and miss him all the time. It was bad enough that he was no longer a part of my life in the physical form, but immediately after his passing, the person who was my closest friend & confidant, told me that they didn't know if they could trust me anymore. Now if you have a puzzled look on your face right now, it's ok because I still have the same look on my face. I couldn't believe that the one person who I thought I could always count on and who knew they could always count on me was booting me out of their life. So that week, I lost not one, but two great people in my life.

Six months ago, someone came into my  life that became very special to me. I didn't know this would be the case but they would become the one person I would rely on in what was to become my darkest hour. Our relationship was different from any kind of relationship with people that I have had before. It was "special" to say the least. Over time, not only were they there when I least expected them to be, they became my confidant, my shoulder to cry on, my inspiration and the voice that could lift my spirits out of the deepest hole. But, recently, their cousin passed away (may he too rest in peace). It was an extremely shocking occurrence. They have been dealing with it for the past few weeks and I've tried to be as supportive as possible. But I've recently come to realize that I'm just not good when it comes to death. I never know what to say or how to really deal with it. I make it know that I am there if i'm needed for anything but none ever seems to come to me. I don't know what it is, but its never the ones I expect that end up coming to me for comfort. Needless to say, I've been cast aside once again. Another relationship ended for reasons I can't explain and struggle to understand.
What I do know is that death is my enemy in more ways than one. If its not directly taking someone from me, it will do so by other means. I in no way, shape or mean to make this a selfish blog about me. I am simply stating something about my life that I have recognized. I don't know what is about death, but it torments and pulls apart my life every time, with out fail.